Mean Old McDonald (Excerpt #002)

…Its just me and mean Mr. McDonald. What a fucking asshole. Look at him, just lying there. As always making me do all the work. I was the one who snuck him onto the boat. I was the one who bribed the deck hands. He’s been completely useless.

I’ve carried him around for days. He’s the kinda guy that even if you didn’t drug would of probably just been more of a burden. You know the type. Always wanting to talk things out. Insisting on knowing why you bought chloroform.

That $500.00 was so close I could taste it. Not literally. Very much like that expression though. With Beardy McFuckface passed out you’d think I would be able to find it.

Not true.

Somehow he must of anticipated being unconscious and hidden the money. Where could it be I wondered.

Recent thoughts now had me concerned for this upstanding gentleman’s health once again. I felt the urge to wake him. I wonder if he’s left-handed.

Eli awoke just as we arrived, smelling horrible and feigning confusion over being on a boat. I wasn’t gonna let him win this time though. After all, this was all his fault.

I had been living off bourbon and sleeping in my own vomit for the last 3 days so things were starting to look up for me…

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