Mean Old McDonald (Excerpt #001)

…It’s not everyday that you stand behind an asshole at the grocery store but today was different. Today I needed to buy food. This particular asshole I knew quite well.

He was a horrible little S.O.B. named Eli McDonald. He was the type of person who carefully drove in the right hand lane. He routinely ripped phone numbers off flyers with no intention of ever calling.

Yes, Eli was an old school type of nazi. That much was clear. You could see the evil oozing out of every pore on his fat stupid face. In the place of his soul was a paper cut. His spirit animal was a pay toilet.

With just one brief look at Eli anyone could tell that he already spent half the day adopting puppies just for the blood sport. As I stared at him the rage began to boil over. Who does this asshole think he is? Where does he get off acting like this?

Then my rage went internal. The burden of knowing this man and allowing him to exist made me wonder if I could be an asshole too. My face red with anger I prepared myself for what I knew I must do. My eyes piercing the back of his skull he turned around, looked at me and softly spoke.

“Hi, My name is Todd”

I knew it! This man needed to die…

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